Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Numbers Don't Make You
We got back our Old Testament tests today, and I must say, I'm not used to seeing that low of a score on a test. It threw me for a bit. My classmates starting comparing scores and looking over what they can improve on together in community, and I had to step away because it's still a little raw. I started wanting to judge myself based on my other classmates' test scores. Why didn't I do what this other person did? What did she do that was so much better than me? I felt compelled to start judging myself based on a number. So I drew back, and I came into a holy space away from the crowd. I stopped and just let God embrace me. I am worth so much more than a number, and truth be told, this number will not kill me, it will not make me lose my scholarship, it's just a number. I am more than a number, I am a beloved child of God who has come to this school to learn more about how to engage with my creator and with the communities God lovingly places me in. And when the numbers aren't what I hoped they would be, when I am not a perfect scholar, I just need to step back and remember that numbers don't make you. God makes you.